April 18, 2016
Minnie Mouse, as those of who (are forced to) watch The Mickey Mouse Clubhouse all know, runs a successful fashion accessories shop. My daughter recently came home from a Target run with the Sweetie Pie Minnie Mouse doll, based loosely on the character from the show. It’s happy-looking, its bow lights up (which my daughter thinks is fascinating), and it’s easy for my daughter to dress (it comes with shoes, apron, handbag, and two skirts).
It also talks and sings, mainly about making cupcakes, bows, and things that are sparkly, cute, or sweet. All well and good - those are things that drive Minnie’s successful cupcake/fashion accessory business.
But in my head, I’m hearing Minnie say what’s going on behind the scenes as she administers her shop:
|What she's saying||What I'm hearing|
|Sprinkles go with everything! [laughs] Oh!||Taxes apply to everything!|
|You’re sweet like sprinkles on a cupcake! [laughs] Oh!||You’re sweet like a 1% conversion rate!|
|A pretty bow adds the finishing touch. [laughs] Oh!||Good return on investment means lower ad spending!|
|Oh they’re so sweet when they’re [purple] [pink] [red] [yellow] [green]! [laughs] Oh!||Oh they’re so cheap when I buy in bulk!|
|Everybody knows it’s all about the bows! [laughs] Oh!||Everybody knows it’s all about the trade shows!|
|Cupcakes and pretty bows - what a sparkling combination!||Materials and labor - that’s how we estimate our fixed costs!|
|Add a dash of sweetness and we’re ready to go! Oh, perfect!||Add a Facebook pixel - and we’re ready to track sales!|
|My bow looks like a rainbow! [laughs] Oh!||My supply chain is squeaky clean!|
|Now just a pinch of color - [ding] how sweet!||Now just a few alt tags - improved SEO!|
|Goodness! Fashion never looked so sweet! [laughs]||Goodness! Customs and duties are sky high!|
|[I admit I’m kind of guessing here - can’t really understand what she’s saying] [singing] Look at sprinkles like flowers/so pretty and so sweet/Our fashion is so fabulous/A real fashion treat/Sparkles like sprinkles/yellow pink purple blue/And there’s a chocolate strawberry/Topped with a cherry/and that’s you!||[singing] Look at my pageviews per visitor, they’re higher than last week/Our ads are working great since our e-commerce tweak/Orders ship out 98% on time/And we’re selling on amazon/’Cause that’s what our fans are on/They like Prime!|
After all, the woman is a mogul.