So the saying goes: “What are little girls made of? sugar & spice & everything nice.”
That’s really just the start of the story isn’t it? Life is so much more interesting and variegated than that.
Despite being a fairly ungirly girl, I have had my strong moments of girly.
I bought shoes for my wedding that were a copy of a pair worn by Sex and the City’s Carrie Bradshaw. I once did a glamorous pin up photoshoot to celebrate some significant weight loss. I take selfies like this one just because I have some very fabulous sunglasses… Oh wait, I guess I am a girly girl, and I also have moments like this where I helped build sets for my dear friend who was directing her show that she wrote and produced!
So it would be more accurate to say, I am a fairly girly girl and I have my moments of boyishness! But then again, who says that to work on sets and play in the mud is reserved for boys? Who said that?
More importantly, who said it so often and so loudly that we all as a society believed it? I for one, think the words we use matter. So I strive to use words like “and” rather than “but” when talking about myself since “but” negates what comes before it and I don’t want to promote limited thinking or living.
When I found out I was having a little girl, I had visions of pink and girly bows and all things sugar and spice running through my head. Then reality took over, as well as a healthy dose of “well that’s just boring.” Who says because she is a girl, she will automatically like pink? I tried to tell people, I don’t want an over abundance of pink (just because she is a girl) so let’s get all that out of the way with my shower. So we did a Paris themed baby shower - “Bonjour Bebe.” As you can see there is pink, and it’s not the only color or feature.
Let’s face it: for the first few years, we get to pick their clothes because it’s not as if they are going to say, Mother, I despise pink and wish you would not put it on my person. Thank you and good night.
No, they can’t, so we decorate their rooms with pink and green and decide that the theme for their room will be frogs, and we just have to wait for the day (she is two now, so maybe when she is 5?) she will say, “Mom, I don’t like frogs.” So at that point, maybe we will re-decorate with ducks and rockets….? Or something completely different?
It could happen, especially since I discovered this amazing company, Princess Awesome, that specializes in “And not But” – this company says she can be a tomboy and a princess all at once. She can like twirling in a skirt (WITH POCKETS) and playing in the dirt. Look at how happy she is!
In a world where society (not to mention most stores) are trying to tell little girls who grow into young women that they can ONLY like pink and only like playing with dolls and kitchen sets, Princess Awesome says, oh yeah, well, take a gander at this beaker or this rocket on my dress. I could be an electrical engineer or an astronaut. Or whatever I want! The possibilities are limitless.
I look forward to that day, because it will mean that my daughter is asserting her personality and likes and dislikes. Make no mistake, she is an opinionated little miss, and she definitely makes choices right now. I ask her to pick the book on the left or the right and she picks left or right. Or she makes this face which is a no to both and a temper tantrum in the making!
You never know what will happen, so I find it important to embrace the “AND” of it all.
I learned this as an improviser and I re-learn it again every day as I watch my little girl in the dress play and splash around in mud puddles with no concern about keeping her clothes “NICE.”
Too often, we are caught in the trap of “but” and forget it’s an “AND” world. Let me demonstrate.
“This little girl looks so cute in this dress but she also likes to stomp around in puddles."
Try it again, with “AND” rather than “BUT”:
“This little girl looks so cute in this dress, and she loves to stomp around in puddles and get dirty.”
You might be shocked how often you will change your mindset about something that previously seemed set in stone. The words we use matter, and no more so than the ones we use about our kids and ourselves.
by Eva St. Clair October 30, 2019
Since the day she was born, my daughter Laina has been a catalyst for awesome in my life. Like many parents, she’s brought out the best in me personally; however, she has also energized my professional work, as well.
She is the inspiration behind the children’s science book series I launched this summer known as Science With Scarlett, which invites readers to follow Scarlett—a precocious young scientist—and her charming teddy bear assistant, Mr. Bear, who do experiments with the reader. Science With Scarlett is written in clever rhymes and rollicking verse, teaching actual science, and striving to get young thinkers wondering and young wonderers thinking.
by Eva St. Clair October 09, 2019
If you and your labmates would like to be featured in our Ladies Who Lab campaign, please submit a response! It’s easy and should only take a few minutes. Please see the entry form below!
We will share submissions on our blog and/or social channels throughout November.
by Kerstin Shamberg October 08, 2019 6 Comments
One lucky winner will get a $250 Gift Card to the Boy Wonder store.
The winner will be selected at random on October 14th and will be announced the same day. Please see Terms and Conditions below. No giveaway-only accounts.
The Boy Wonder site is mostly down until we launch but you can visit boy-wonder.com to learn a little more about us in the meantime.